


Persona

by cantsleep_com



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:47:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22632919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cantsleep_com/pseuds/cantsleep_com
Summary: persona:noun [ C ] the particular type of character that a person seems to have and that is often different from their real private character.No one's perfect, there are always pains and sufferings here and there, ghost feelings roaming around and eating the soul away.It felt wrong, hallow, similar to needles pointing directly at the heart and destroying it bit by bit with endless shallow compliments. Yoohyeon wondered how Minji could handle with all of this.
Relationships: Han Dong | Handong/Lee Yoobin | Dami, Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon
Comments: 12
Kudos: 40





	1. How much pain can a soul carry?

"Why is literature so lame? Literally useless, ugh." Bora huffed, annoyingly rolling her eyes. 

"I can't say you're totally wrong, love." Said Siyeon, hugging her girlfriend from behind while sitting on the table, Bora between her legs and leaning onto her.

Across the table sat Yoobin and HanDong next to each other, the latter with her arm around Yoobin's neck, the girl resting her head on HanDong's shoulder and sighing at the surging conversation in front of her, her favorite class begging to be backed up and defended.

"It's surely not useless, words are what makes us us, human, superior. They hold so much power and can do so many big things." She eyed Bora, the girl looking at her in disbelief and boredom. "Not understanding a certain part of a book doesn't mean literature is lame. Nor does that mean literature is all about reading books."

"Dongie, why is your girlfriend so nerdy?"

HanDong laughed airly, Yoobin grunting ever so slightly and nuzzling further into the girl's neck, her arms crossed tight to her chest. "Binnie, you're cute either way." The older one said, in hope to comfort the sulking girl close to her and knowing it'd distract her from Bora's teasing. She felt her tense up and looked down, red coloring painting her cheekbones and mouth slightly opened. 

"You're for sure whipped, Yoob. You look like a tomato!" Siyeon interfered, smirking at the pointed girl and seeing her flushed face turn into a darker tone, eyes scanning the cafeteria to see if her loyal saviour would finally come. She did, after a few minutes of endless teasing, the tall and puppy-like girl arrived at the table with a tray full of delicious food the school 'offered'.

"Yeonnie! Save me from this pair of lesbians, please." Yoobin pleaded with urgency, gaining a scoff from the couple.

Yoohyeon was all laughs, happy with the constant mess that were her friends and shook her head, a smile on the ends of her lips as she sitted down besides Siyeon and Bora, a hand immediately on top of her head as a sign of affection from the wolf girl now on the chair next to her. "Hello there big baby, how was class?" Asked the girl, hands laced with Bora's on top of the table, fingers caressing the other's with much care. Yoohyeon wished she could have this.

"It was good! Even though I got a presentation coming up, I think I'll be alright, I hope." She started touching the food, the toasted bread crunchy when in touch with her bunny teeth, the rice with pieces of steak and an egg on the side was too much of a good sight, she sighed with hunger after the first bite. She looked up at her friends, everyone observing her while she ate, small and motherly smiles flashed at her, like always. They could tease each other for God knows how long, argue sometimes like friends do, but Yoohyeon was their baby. The other girls protected her like no one else would, gave her the attention she needed since her family condition wasn't the best (it was the worst). They cared for her like parents and no one dared to mess with her, knowing they had to deal with the four girls first and Bora wasn't exactly nice to anyone who spoke badly of her.

Even though their ages vary, Bora and Siyeon being the eldest, they all met when they were still children, which sounds like something made up, but it wasn't. They all grew up in the same neighbourhood and ended up playing a lot together like riding their bikes along the big and deserted street to their houses, or eating ice cream with joyful smiles and naughty hands that caused trouble whenever the vanilla would end up on someone's face. Yoohyeon have always had such a clumsy aura that the girls felt like they needed to be around her at all times, which was proved by the countless afternoons with her crying and sulking after falling and hurting helself.

"I heard you guys talking about literature on my way here."

"Oh yeah, Singnie and I had that class before lunch, and we have to read this huge book about a guy that doesn't even exist or something."

"Doesn't sound too bad." Yoohyeon voiced after drinking a little from her water bottle, seeing how Bora scrunched up her entire face in disgust and Yoobin smiled in victory.

"See? Literature gets Yoohyeon's approval so I win. Good luck next time, unnie." 

"She has that nerdy side as well, not fair!" Bora said, getting up from her chair and making her way to Yoohyeon, placing her chin on top of her head and reaching for her cheeks, squishing them softly. "You gotta back me up too, puppy. Can't disrespect your mom like that." The girl giggled, trying to munch on the rice and the meat, looking up to see the older one smile lovingly at her, her heart filling with the feelings she needed the most. These girls made her keep going and actually have someone who she can call in the middle of the night (it has happened before).

"Look who arrived." 

"Who?" Siyeon asked, everyone turning their heads to the cafeteria's entrance, except for Yoohyeon who seemed to be too preoccupied with the food in front of her, the egg now getting her whole attention. The food was indeed good, better than the one she tried to cook sometimes, which didn't happen often but when she did have the courage to try, it always ended up in disaster, the food getting burnt and not eatable.

"Doesn't she have classes with you, Yoohyeonie?" HanDong asked.

"Huh? Who are we talking about?" The girl finally looked up at her friends' faces, trying to understand who pulled their attention and make them stop talking, Bora even stopped pinching her cheeks, backing up a little. "Hello? Who are you guys looking at?" She questioned, the cafeteria too stuffed and full of students everywhere which made it difficult to pinpoint anyone, her eyes roaming the big room and trying to figure out the person people couldn't take their eyes off of, it seemed. 

"The unforgettable Kim Minji." As soon as she heard that name, the food in her mouth got stuck and she started coughing, reaching rapidly for the water and drowning herself in hopes to not choke and die right there. She felt like her face was on flames, warmth spreading everywhere.

"Geez, Yooh. Are you okay?" Siyeon asked, worried and questionable eyes observing her every move, the other person long forgotten.

"U-Uh, yeah, I'm fine..." She took a deep breath and tried to steady herself, finally swallowing the rest of the food left. "I do have classes with her, every single one actually, we're classmates." 

The rest nodded, still intrigued as to why Yoohyeon would react like that but they let it pass, directing their attention to the two figures surrounded by tons of people.

"They are like celebrities." Yoobin said, still in the embrace of her girlfriend, her voice showing how she didn't quite understand the status of the two girls who they were observing.

"Well, they have the looks and the grades, doesn't surprise me how they ended up being acclaimed by everyone. Imagine being the top student in the whole school when it comes to mathematics, sounds impossible." HanDong commented, eyeing the smaller girl next to Minji, her cute smile greeting the ones who wouldn't stop talking nonsense to them just so they could tell their friends they had a chat with the two hotties everybody had a crush for.

Lee Gahyeon and Kim Minji were the top of the top, excellent students, the first one in math and the other in history, although the other subjects were as easy for them. They had not only the grades everyone desired for, but they also attracted eyes wherever they'd go, beauty standards could no longer be used when it came to them. The thing is, even though they were that big in the tiny school, they remained unfazed by it, as if it didn't matter to them, the status and priviligies it often brought ignored by their humble hearts. That only made people fall for them harder because the two girls seemed approachable, kind smiles that would not leave their lips, the bright aura that revolved around them called whoever was in sight to their presence.

The bell rang, telling students lunch time was over and classes were about to start again, the girls huffing and sighing lowly, the lack of motivation to go back to the classroom higher than before, bellies full and the drowsiness kicking in.

"Guess we have to go, ugh. Come on, Singnie, biology awaits us." Bora spoke, starting to pull Siyeon by the hand. "We'll see you guys at 6!"

"Bye, unnies!" Yoohyeon waved at them, seeing how they slowly disappeared from her vision and grunted along the way.

"Literature, finally! It's our turn, Yeonnie. You going to stay?" The couple at the table asked, seeing how Yoohyeon kept sat still, reaching for her backpack and taking out a notebook and a history manual. "Yeah, I still got two hours until my final class of the day, I'll just be here studying a little bit."

"If you need anything, text us."

"Don't worry, DongDong. I'll tell you guys when class ends!" The two girls nodded and went to Yoohyeon, kissing the top of her head each at a time, leaving a cute smile on the girl's lips and proceeding to leave the area, hand in hand, fingers interwined. Yoohyeon sighed, she _wanted_ that feeling. She wasn't alone, _per se_. She had her friends who, in the long-term, turned out to be her real family, the only ones who didn't care if she liked girls or not, the only ones who made her stay awake and keep trying to be a better person each day. However, she felt empty whenever she'd see her friends being cute with their respective girlfriends, she wasn't jealous of them but of the feeling she could see displayed on their gaze, the warmth that irradiated from their interactions made her heart clench on its own, afraid she wouldn't be able to _feel at all_.

Emptiness inside her chest was what filled her days and nights, she still smiled and laughed (how could she not with such friends?) but the discrete and phantom-like hole in her soul remained intact, always ready to remember her how she truly felt the lack of feeling. 

It didn't help that her biological family messed up her psychological side, her self-esteem was put down so many times by her so called 'parents' that she stopped believing in herself, dreams did no longer seem something she aimed for, hobbies didn't really matter anymore, except for one that wouldn't abandon her, gaming. Reading was also something she took a liking too, but that was the Yoobin effect. She opened the history manual in front of her, taking out a pencil from the case to take some notes. The teacher had told the class there'd be an upcoming work that needed to be presented so Yoohyeon thought it'd be a good idea to speed up the process and get some solid knowledge beforehand. The topic wasn't her favorite, it being all the Portuguese reigns ordered chronologicaly, all the kings' names and doings. It was a lot, so she felt the need to get as comfortable as she could be with it, preparing herself for the load of information. European culture was what she chose with complete intent and she didn't regret her decision, but the course sure was taking a toll on her, looking easy on the surface but turning out to be demanding.

Yoohyeon eyed attentively every sentence, looking back to her notebook and writing some little details she felt like she'd forget if it wasn't noted somewhere. She was so immersed in it she didn't capture in her peripheral sight a tall figure walking towards her, purple hair getting closer to the table, eventually sitting in front of her and smiling slightly at how unconsciously cute and non-aware Yoohyeon was just by reading every single thing the manual described thoroughly, her nose scrunching from time to time. "Hey."

She heard the other person say, jumping a little at the unexpected presence, finally looking up from the book and lowering it to let it fully rest on top of the table. Her breath hitched when she locked eyes with the girl, Minji smiling at her with her arm supporting her chin, making sure to see how red was already taking its place on Yoohyeon's face. "What are you doing? Studying history?"

"Um, yeah..." She looked behind her to see if there was anyone Minji could possibly be talking to, but once she turned her head the cafeteria was as empty as she felt, no one on sight, her heart stammering inside its cage when she came to the conclusion that the girl was indeed starting a conversation with her.

The older one narrowed her eyes towards her in a playful way "I could see your frown from where I was sat. Do you hate it that much?" _She was looking at me?_

"Hate is a little too strong to describe it, it's just that this part about the Portuguese culture turns me off, too many unfamiliar names and countless time stamps." Yoohyeon huffed, cheeks puffing out without her noticing, the other one unable to stop her smile from rising. _Cute._

"I could help you, don't we have a work in pairs about it?" Oh right, the work is in pairs. Yoohyeon's brain stopped working midway, only now able to understand what Minji had just said, offering her the help she much needed.

"Uh, I mean, I wouldn't decline the offer but I can be dense sometimes and I don't wanna be bothersome to you."

The nape scratching began, showing how Yoohyeon was feeling shy and hesitant, worried that she'd be someone Minji would get easily done with. She was smart and could catch things easily, playing games and reading often giving her that benefit, but when it came to stuff that she wasn't entirely into, things would work another way.

"I'm sure it'll be no problem. I was looking for a partner and you seemed like a good match! Also heard that you have a specialty with English, is that true?"

A little taken aback, Yoohyeon answered "I wouldn't say it's a complete lie, I'm comfortable with it to the point I feel like I'm almost fluent. But, y-you know, I play a lot of online games so I interact with people in the most known language. Uh, it helped me..." She lost her train of thought seeing how Minji couldn't look more invested in their conversation as she already did, paying close attention to the words that left Yoohyeon's lips, not diverting her gaze somewhere else "I feel like I'm talking too much..." She said, ducking her head to stare back at the book, the warmth spread across her face not helping in her little gay panic attack. Minji was beyond beautiful, that was an universal truth for everyone in that school, but seeing her so up-close was extremely endearing and made Yoohyeon pay attention to other details she didn't quite hear people talking about across the corridors.

Like how her eyes would follow her smile as if it was a competition, kindness radiating from both like her positive energy was a constant in her day-to-day life. Yoohyeon would like to know _her_ , the Kim Minji who people couldn't see, the one that only appeared far away from all these soulless bodies that craved fake praise. Perfection was the word everyone used when referring to whatever she did, but it seemed to be lacking meaning even when it held so much power. To call someone 'perfect' sounds almost impossible, people letting it flow from their lips like it's as casual as going grocery shopping. It felt wrong, hallow, similar to needles pointing directly at the heart and destroying it bit by bit with endless shallow compliments. Yoohyeon wondered how Minji could handle with all of this.

"It feels nice to listen to your voice for some reason." Minji stated, both arms dropped on the table, her eyes fixated on the history manual, an eyebrow quirking "I don't recall hearing you talk in class." She directed her gaze back to the younger one, waiting eagerly to hear her again.

"I don't like the feeling of everyone looking at me, being the center of attention makes me uncomfortable..." Yoohyeon remembered how she got to be the one who received all the attention from her parents, the one who they put the blame on for whatever happened, how she'd be attacked everyday just for being her and existing, the way she was all they saw when it came to accusing and destroying what was left of her, making her feel like everything but human. Minji noticed how Yoohyeon's eyes became watery for a second, hurt and agony (she assumed) flashed on her features, her jaw unconsciously clenching with hatred. 

She only snapped out of her thoughts when a hand came in touch with hers, fingers slowly tracing her own as a way to try to calm her down, Minji leaning closer to her, eyes worried and sad, almost as if she empathized with what she was feeling right now. Yoohyeon felt her tears threatening to come out but she held it in, not really prepared to face her memories at the wrong timing.

"It's okay, I'm here." Minji eyed her closely, watching her struggle and trying not to collapse in tears right away, herself hurting inside from how painful Yoohyeon's experience seemed like. 

"Can I hug you? Will it make it a little better?" She searched between the younger's two orbes the answer to her question, patiently waiting for some kind of response and deeply wanting to help. Her answer came in a soft and quiet head nod, the girl's eyes dropping to the floor right after. Minji got up from her seat and went over to Yoohyeon's side, dragging the closest chair to sit next to her. She looked at the younger one for a second before sliding her arms around her neck, her head resting over her shoulder and eyes closed. Yoohyeon grew stiff, her heart beating faster than it should, Minji's vanilla shampoo caressing her nostrils and making her feel dizzy, so much sweetness in the air around them.

After a few minutes, Yoohyeon gained enough courage to reciprocate the hug, engulfing Minji's waist lightly and sighing to herself "You can hug me a little tighter, Yoohyeon, it's okay." She wished Minji hadn't said that because it all came back to her like a speeding truck, every single bad memory placing itself on her mind, a feeling of dread accumulating inside of her and her whole body reacting to it immediately. Her arms tightening around the girl's waist, pulling her closer and diving her head on her chest, tears breaking away and falling furiously, painting the other girl's uniform.

She felt Minji caressing her head with one hand, the other one still holding her with a strong grip, eyes close shut trying to stop the salty river that was out of control "I-I'm sorry, your uniform..." 

The older one shushed her, turning her head to the right and placing her face close to Yoohyeon's ear, her breathing stopping for a second at the proximity "I don't care."

Yoohyeon felt herself slowly calming down and lifted her head up to look around, the cafeteria remained deserted and in silence, apart from their rushed breathing and quiet words. She searched for her phone with her eyes, the device besides her notebook showing what time it was. The younger girl concluded they still had half an hour until the next and final class and sighed in relief. A few seconds passed and she got back to the position she was previously in, her mouth opening to voice one of her lingering doubts " Why are you doing this? Isn't it weird?"

"How's it weird?" Minji laughed it off, showing how she didn't think there was any problem with their current situation " Why wouldn't I? You're not in the best condition and I was here to come to the rescue and cheer you up a bit." Yoohyeon giggled at that, muffled because her head was pressed into Minji's chest and she didn't feel like going back to reality where the purple haired girl had no idea who she was.

"B-But you don't even know who I am..." She said, quietly, not quite understanding how Minji could be so kind and sweet with someone who was not a friend of hers, nor someone who hadn't directed a single word at her.

"If I'm not mistaken, you're Yoohyeon, my classmate." The older one said smoothingly, her own head pressed against Yoohyeon's, arms soothing her back in repetitive motions. "And you're one of the few that don't really care about me."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I'm pretty sure you've seen how everyone acts around me, you are not like _them_. It's like you couldn't bother enough to see if Minji arrived or who is Minji talking to." Yoohyeon sensed how her voice shifted, sarcasm masked with annoyance sipping through and startling her a little, making her lift her head to search for the older's eyes. Minji was looking directly at her, her face unreadable, her eyes almost pleading for something Yoohyeon still couldn't catch. "You wanna talk about it?" The younger one asked, her arms pinching Minji's sides to ground her before cradling her face with both hands, her thumb itching to caress the older's cheek but choosing not to due to them still being strangers. She watched how Minji's facial expression fell, a sigh coming out of her mouth.

"It's time to go to class, Yoohyeon." The girl stated, her arms leaving her neck and her body leaning away from Yoohyeon's to stand up and put the chair back where it originally was. She grabbed her backpack and urged the younger one to do the same, Yoohyeon proceeding to clumsily close her history manual and her notebook and then shoving them into her own backpack. She stood up next to Minji, said girl looking up at her with flushed cheeks "You're taller than me." 

"Uh, yeah, looks like I am." She responded, watching the older one start to turn her back and head for the cafeteria's entrance, a feeling of panic surging within her "W-Wait, Minji!" She looked at her, cheeks still coloured slightly, eyebrow quirking in confusion "What?"

"Can we exchange numbers?" Her feet were fidgeting, nervousness taking a toll on her, her palms also started to form sweat, afraid she was going beyond the unplanned and unsaid boundaries. Minji looked at her like she grew two heads, a small smile tugging at the ends of her lips "That was my plan, we're a team now and we have to do the best work ever. Also, why are you standing there? Come on, class is about to start!" Startled, Yoohyeon rushed to Minji's side while trying not to trip over her own messy feet, receiving an amused smirk from the other girl. Both then proceeded to head for the room, today's final class was history, a good coincidence since Miss Dahyun would elaborate more on the work itself and ask for people to pair up and decide each other's parts to develop and present.

They finally got there, each sitting at their usual spot, only now noticing that they weren't that far apart, Minji sitting behind Yoohyeon. The older one gave her a smile, which was followed by the latter, although a bit shy. The teacher arrived and the whole class grew excited at the premise that this work would count as much as a regular test, giving the students the oportunity to get a better grade and save the entire term. The work, though, was intended to be taken very seriously, it looked almost like a thesis by how well explained and described the theme needed to be. In the end, they exchanged numbers before leaving the school's gate, Minji going home first, waving goodbye at the younger one. Yoohyeon stayed waiting for her friends, all of them rode on their bikes to go home, always laughing together while making racing competitions to see who got to their neighbourhood first.

Once her back was pressed against the soft blanket on her bed, the image of Minji's unreadable face flooded her thoughts, the way her eyes lost all the life she had in them, the way her lips were quivering ever so slightly, how her voice didn't sound the same. It felt like she was about to show something she wasn't supposed to and she changed the subject to avoid talking about it. Maybe because they had just met, maybe because she didn't want to appear weak or maybe because there was something hidden deep inside her that she was afraid to let out. 

"How much pain can a soul carry?" Yoohyeon asked to no one, leaving unanswered and philosophical worries float on the dead silence of her bedroom, the world outside growing dark and the night-time coming around to end one more day. 


	2. How much do eyes show of the soul?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this :<

She felt reality come back slowly, the drowisiness slipping away each passing second, her eyelashes reviving and starting to wake up, steadily refreshing her very much blurred vision. Soft knocks rang throughout the whole room, a familiar pattern filling the usual calming morning silence Yoohyeon would find herself in most of the times. Her eyes opened and tried to deal with the sudden light coming in from the window, one of them closing to adjust to the brightness and the other one slightly squinting.

"Yoohyeon! Go get dressed and then come eat, baby." They called for her, her whole body stretching comfortably on the almost tiny bed for her big proportions, one of her legs sliding off the bed on its own. She had a small smile plastered on her face as she heard Siyeon call for her again after not hearing the shower working "Come on, sleepyhead, it's getting late."

Her answer came out to be a soft hum, the sound vibrating on her chest and her arms rising above her head, bones relaxing and some popping when tensed. She loved this, no need for the storm to come after the calm. It didn't get to that, it stayed like this, comforting and loving, undeniably forgiving and terribly great. Yoohyeon got up and stretched some more, immediately heading for the bathroom that her room had (she was very thankful for that) and turned on the shower, stepping in and feeling the warm water travel around her body, almost touching her empty yet disturbingly loud soul.

Being thrown out of her childhood house was rather painful but, after it happened, it revealed to be something her inner self had been longing for with all her heart. She was hurt, mentally abused, feeling like everything and nothing simultaneously and the wanting to be freed from all the sad photos framed on the old and rusty walls of the constricting house made her wish for salvation. It pained her profusely to leave the school's gate just to enter the demon's cavern, ready to suck the little amount of existent life out of her (or what was left). Fortunately, Siyeon's parents were beyond heroes. They understood what situation Yoohyeon was in and fully supported her, with all their devotion, they wanted to do more than help, they felt the need to save her from the disgrace her biological parents were and the distress they caused to the poor girl. And so, having a house so big and too many spare rooms made them plan the perfect solution for the girl's problem.

It was on a Friday afternoon, both her parents were out at work and Yoohyeon was trying to distract herself with some books recently published by unknown authors who werent' given the attention they deserved. She liked doing this, walking to the area's library and just roam around the never-stopping amount of full shelves, her eyes travelling from phrase to phrase, title to title, some more interesting than others. But she still liked doing this, letting her head be stimulated by so many non-related words and exclamation points, stops here and there in the middle of lost sentences. The library was at everyone's mercy and offered so so much that Yoohyeon didn't have the guts to just look around and leave. Therefore, she stayed more than needed, always, imprinting the most amount of impacting parts of not fully read stories. She felt connected to the need to be interpreted, understood, read.

No one was at home for the time being, so Siyeon, her parents and Bora decided it was the perfect time to strike and give Yoohyeon another opportunity at life. They got in with the emergency key hidden on top of the entrance door, the smell of angst and tears mixed with something like suffocation entered their noses at full force, the four of them feeling their stomach turn and clench. How could a house smell like this? How bad could their actions be to spread their bad influence in such level? How did Yoohyeon survive through this infuriating aura that made itself at home? It angered all of them to say the least, to the point their mission was going faster than planned, the need to leave such toxic place fulled the packing of Yoohyeon's clothes and belongings. There weren't many boxes, she didn't have much except for the books Yoobin would give her. Ever since her parents found out about the girl's sexuality, they started treating her like a beggar, ignoring her presence and just directing their attention towards her with hateful words and, sometimes, physical contact too. And so, Yoohyeon didn't have much, they didn't care if she had stuff to wear or if she wanted something for her birthday, she no longer held a special space in their rotten hearts.

She was walking down the known street, thoughts floating around the immersive stories she had the opportunity to take a look at in the library, too entranced with rhyming lines and half-broken hearts to notice her porch's light on, both her parents standing at the house's entrance and looking at her intensely. She let her eyes wander around, stopping when her house came into her vision, forehead sweating and hands grabbing the uniform fabric tightly, expecting another round of harsh words and angry spits in contrast with the melodic sceneries her head lived in a few seconds ago. She braced herself for what was to come, but Yoohyeon didn't expect it'd be this.

"Finally, you'll die far away from us. We could thank your friend for helping us get rid of you but she's a pile of trash as well so we couldn't care less." Mr.Kim said, arms crossed to his chest and a smile on his face.

"They took all of your stuff, so you don't need to come here ever again. You better rot in hell, dyke." The woman finished it off, sending a disgusted glare towards the frozen girl.

She couldn't move, her body felt like lava, slowly melting and spreading around, making her stay rooted to the spot. Yoohyeon eyed them with confusion, lost in between the insults and her parent's wishes for her to die (she was used to it) and the part where they mentioned her leaving their house. _What?_

A hand grabbed her own "Yooh, let's go." She recognized it, that was Siyeon pulling her away from the two people who made her stain her old pillow with tears every single night. Her heart was racing in an incredible slow pace, opposite to the way Siyeon seemed to hold her, rushing them inside her house and closing the door right after stepping in. "Oh, baby..." She hugged her closely, arms surrounding her neck and head pressed against hers, sweet nothings muttered in a low breath. After came Bora, her bear hug crushing Yoohyeon and snapping her out of her stupor, eyes watering when she saw Siyeon's parents crying and smiling at her, love written in their gaze. She realized where she was and what was happening, her legs soon trembling and letting her fall on the ground in shock.

The water stopped flowing down as Yoohyeon turned it off, the memory of her salvation painted a smile on her lips once again, relief and gratitude were what described the way she felt (and still feels) when Siyeon's parents told her about their plan. This was forever, she had a house and a new family who took care of her as if she wasn't just a friend, she felt more than that, she felt like she belonged here where love resides and grows.

She headed back to the room to put on her uniform and brush her hair. Today she felt like wearing pigtails so she grabbed two ties from the little box she had on her desk and tried her best to take equal portions of the hair. "Looks good enough", Yoohyeon stated as she checked the result on the mirror. She made her bed and then went for the backpack, putting the sociology and the ethics manual inside. A sudden ping filled the quiet room, the phone then vibrating on the nightstand and getting her attention. 

_Minji:_ _"Good morning! Is the study session still up?"_

It was a few days later from the incident where the younger girl had cried her eyes out and messed up Minji's uniform. They had been talking, mostly about the work they had at hands and they didn't really develop their conversation due to them still being awkward with each other, at least that's what Yoohyeon thought, still embarrassed about letting herself be vulnerable with someone she didn't know a thing about. They planned on meeting two times a week to get the process going and finish the work earlier so it wouldn't become a bother.

" _Yeah, after lunch at the library?"_

_Minji: "Deal :)"_

Yoohyeon took a deep breath and put her phone inside her jacket's pocket, not forgetting to bring her earphones as well and a little suitcase of peach flavoured mints, those were her favourite. She put the backpack on her shoulders and walked out of her bedroom, being greeted with a cute sight of Siyeon hugging her mother like a koala and the latter trying to drink her much needed coffee, a smile planted on her lips. She felt a hand ruffle both her pigtails, like it was a cat swatting some ribbon. 

"You look so cute today, Yoohyeonie." Mr.Lee said, both his hands then proceeded to squish the girl's cheeks, Yoohyeon scrunching up her nose in protest like a little kid.

"Papa..." She scoffed, trying to fake her annoyance at the display of affection, only to receive a big grin from the man and some pats on top of her head. She loved this, her new family made her comfortable and happy, they even began to act as if she really was their daughter alongside with Siyeon who had always treated her like a little sister. This was it, what she needed the most. It made her forget about how empty she felt, just a little.

"Come eat your apple, Yeonnie, you guys have to get going in a bit." Mama Lee said, pushing the girl that was holding her away with laughter seeing how Siyeon got upset. The girl went up to Yoohyeon and left a kiss on her cheek, speeding towards her room to grab the stuff she needed for the day at school. Yoohyeon followed the woman's instruction and sat down at the table, biting into the apple and lifting a toast to her mouth right after. Both girls left when they were done eating, walking side by side and arms interwined with each other, just listening to the way the birds sang peacefully at such hours in the morning. They met the girls one by one, each having an overwhelming reaction to Yoohyeon's hairstyle choice, her cheeks never felt so sore in such a little amount of time. Her smile didn't seem to leave her face, though.

She has always liked to arrive on time or be at places earlier than planned so she headed straight to ethics class, even though there were still 15 minutes for the class to start. The girls knew how Yoohyeon handled things and how she liked to deal with her own stuff so they were used to her leaving the group early to go to class or anywhere for the matter. She sat down at her usual spot, took out her earphones and put them on, clicking on 'play' and flying to another realm she liked to keep in her memory, somewhere where she didn't feel so empty after all. 

Yoohyeon placed her arms on the table, her head soon resting on top of them and eyes closing ever so slightly, just enough to enjoy the relaxing music. Being here in the classroom all alone made her feel some type of way, like she saw things from another perspective, like she played the role as the 3rd person, an uninvited observant. It was as if she broke the rules of life and how you're supposed to be alive, watching herself from the sidelines. Loud chatter and incoming footsteps made her jerk up, hands reaching for the phone in a frantic manner and a finger pressing the 'pause' button. Yoohyeon took out her earphones, placing them in her backpack and tightly closed her eyes for a few seconds, back straightening to relax after. Surprises didn't please her, they reminded her of how her parents were so sudden in their actions, the roughness of it all made her paranoid with loud noises and out of the blue motions. She sighed in defeat, knowing well that she'd be a little jumpy through the rest of the day.

Yoohyeon watched her classmates coming in one by one, a group of people entering the class while enthusiastically talking about something (she wasn't paying much attention) with Minji. _Oh, it was Minji_. She observed how the girl kept smiling at them, nodding here and there, and looking around the classroom. Her eyes stopped on her and her smile flattered a bit, a certain feeling flashing in her gaze. Yoohyeon was too out of it to take a notice to the change in Minji's behaviour, turning her head and opting to ignore the noise coming from that direction. The fuss over the older girl was a constant but today it felt like too much, the way people talked in an elevated voice was triggering Yoohyeon, the girl trying to calm down by breathing slowly and popping her knuckles.

The purple haired girl couldn't keep her eyes off of her for some reason, watching how Yoohyeon was struggling, once again, right before her. Minji wanted to approach her and try to calm her down like last time but she was afraid the truth would come out, this was also not the right place to act like herself because she had eyes on her that did not forgive nor forget. Dragging the tall girl into this was not something Minji sought, she didn´t wish this for anyone, not even her biggest enemy (if she had one).The class soon started, both girls having their minds on different things and not really paying attention to the teacher. It went relatively fast, the morning classes seemed to pass by like it was nothing but wind blowing over some tree, subtle and ignored.

Lunch time finally arrived, Yoohyeon leaving as fast as possible and heading to the bathroom, she felt like she was about to vomit from how bad her stomach clenched and turned, and the way flashbacks kept attacking her thoughts non-stop. She entered the last stall and pressed her forehead on the cold door, trying to keep it in and stay stable. That didn't seem to work because as she crouched down, it all came back on full force and she opened her mouth, ready to empty her body. Nothing but saliva came out, the bitter taste at the top of her throat making her close her eyes shut and shudder slightly.

She needed to be with her friends, they were the only ones who could bring her back from the bad stuff (at least, until now) and she also needed to eat. So, she left the stall behind and washed her pale hands, looking at her reflection in the mirror and frowning at the way even the pigtails looked sad. Once she sat at their table in the cafeteria, Yoohyeon ducked down her head and looked intently at the food on her tray. She had to eat but she couldn't bring herself to lift the spoon, so she just stared at it, feeling her body grow weaker each passing second, her eyes struggling to not close entirely. Her hearing was slowly decreasing and she couldn't catch any noise nor voice, a brief smile on her face. Ah, this is what she needed, to not hear anything.

"Yooh! Oh my god..." She faintly saw a glimpse of Yoobin rushing to her side, the rest of the girls soon following with terrified expressions.

"No, baby, look at me." Siyeon, Yoohyeon assumed, said in a sad tone, grabbing her face and placing one hand on her forehead, frowning right after. "You're burning, jesus..."

"Step aside, love. Let me help." Bora came close to the young girl, a tear leaving her eye at the sight of an almost unconscious Yoohyeon slowly blinking, as if she was trying to keep awake. "C-Come on, puppy, you can do this." She brought a water bottle close to her mouth, gently holding Yoohyeon's chin and letting it water her dry lips, her mouth opening automatically. They watched as Yoohyeon started weakly coughing, hands gripping Bora's arms at the sudden fright of coming back from wherever she was, eyes watering at the sight of her friend's faces full of worry and, now, absolute relief. "It's okay, you're okay." Bora said, urging Yoohyeon to place her head on the crook of her neck and patting her head in slow motions, the other hand grabbing the spoon with soup and leading it to the girl in her arms, in an attempt to make her eat. All of them gathered around the two girls, HanDong soothing Yoohyeon's back in a repetitive gesture while feeling her heart ache at the sight of the tall yet so small girl in Bora's embrace.

The older one kept giving her food, making sure to hold her closely as in to bring enough comfort to make her wake up completely. Yoohyeon felt her body grow stronger, eyes now able to stay opened longer, arms proceeding to engulf Bora's waist and lips trembling slightly. "I'm s-sorry..." She muttered close to the girl's ear, reality now hitting her and making her realize what had just happened. "I-I didn't m-mean to." Yoohyeon knew how the girls got when they found out she hadn't eaten so she apologized, she really didn't mean to, she just couldn't bring herself to eat.

"Don't say sorry, this isn't your fault." Yoobin interjected, pacing back and forth on her seat besides HanDong "What happened, Yooh?"

"I, uh, some noise triggered me and I've been feeling like this since the first class." Yoohyeon eyed the tray she brought and it was finally empty, a smile growing on her lips as she turned to Bora and planted a kiss on her cheek "Thank you, unnie."

"You had me so worried, baby. Have you been going to therapy?" The older one questioned, still holding her close and looking at her intently, Yoohyeon noticed the tear stain and how her eyes were a little red. "I'm sorry for making you cry, but not really." She paused for a moment, breathing in heavily when seeing the frowns on the girl's faces "School work keeps me occupied enough to the point I get distracted and don't think about certain stuff." She hadn't told them about her episode with Minji, it felt like it existed only for a second, not really holding much reality. Yoohyeon slipped her hand on her jacket's pocket and took out her phone, eyes popping out and an 'oh my god' leaving her mouth. She got out of Bora's embrace, getting up from her chair and pulling the backpack from the ground in a rush. "Guys, thank you so much for helping me out. I have to go do a work at the library and I'm already late, I'll text you!" The girls watched her sprint out of the cafeteria in confusion, only to roll their eyes at the puppy's antics and sigh to themselves. This wasn't the first time Yoohyeon almost passed out, but everytime it happened it made them grow even more cautious.

She was dashing her way up the building, the library being on the third floor, when she felt the phone vibrate once, then twice.

_Minji: "Hey, I got here already"_   
_Minji: "I'm sitting at the table near that big window in the end of the hallway."_

Yoohyeon sighed, she hoped she was good enough to concentrate on their work and do things the right way. The library's door was finally in front of her, the girl bending down and taking a few deep breaths, clearly tired from the running. She looked up and opened the glass door, being greeted with mostly empty tables and sofas, only 4 people sitting at the entrance, each with earphones on and loads of books at the table. Yoohyeon noticed how some were raising an eyebrow and shaking their heads in disapproval, she liked studying but she also found the despair relatable.

The girl checked the messages again just to be sure she knew where Minji was waiting for her, proceeding to head in the direction mentioned, observing the books displayed while doing so. It seemed like they'd be alone in this area since there were no signs of people whatsoever, the silence filling the hallway made her feel at peace and relax, internally wishing Minji wouldn't let out some question that would make everything hit her again like last time. Yoohyeon spotted the other girl, her purple hair almost blinding her with how the light from the window shined on it, Minji looking ethereal with the way the sunrays framed her whole. She paused on the spot, a little stunned with the view in front of her, feeling like she got access to a 3D movie poster or something along those lines. Minji, at that exact moment, looked beyond human. She felt warmth starting to spread over her face, she couldn't help it when it came to pretty girls, specially someone like Minji. She was glad no one was near them, it'd be embarassing to be seen just standing still in the middle of the hallway, her face now similar to a tomato. 

"Oh! Hey, Yoohyeon. You're here." Minji smiled at her, the glasses she was wearing making her look too cute to be real. Yoohyeon blinked fast, trying to stop thinking about how angelic the older one looked.

"Uh, yeah, hi." She scratched her nape, eyes not being able to hold Minji's gaze and dropping to the ground. She felt so awkward around the other one, it was impossible to keep eye contact, at least for now.

"Come sit next to me, it's easier to do the work that way." Minji said and scooted over, leaving space for Yoohyeon to sit. She started to open her backpack and take out her notebook with the history manual, her pencil case coming with too and being placed on top of the table. It had bunnies all over, the design taking the younger one by surprise and making the ends of her lips slightly rise. "Yoohyeon? Why are you still standing?"

"Oh, sorry." She quickly sat down, embarrassed for zoning out again. She followed the girl's actions and prepared the material they needed for the work, not noticing how Minji eyed her while lightly smiling. She tried to keep a certain space between them, not feeling completely comfortable with the other girl who was more than a stranger but not quite a friend yet. The incident a few days ago left a weird impression within her, they did not know each other and, yet, comforted the other like it was a usual thing. They decided what part the other had to read from the manual, topics divided into categories to speed up the process and at least finish the reading aspect today, leaving the writing for another time. Yoohyeon tried to concentrate on the weird names and expressions, underlining the most important parts and drawing question marks on top of the things she didn't quite get, hoping Minji could help her out and explain it to her. It was going smoothly, both girls involved in a quiet bubble, the ends of sentences could be heard from the younger one trying to understand what she had just read, Portuguese flowing in a weirdly good pronunciation even though she wasn't really trying to. 

The sun was slowly fading away, still making the library warm enough, students passing by the window to head home whenever the bell would ring. Yoohyeon kept her gaze on the book in front of her, an eyebrow quirking in a gradual pace as she felt eyes bore into her, her body itching to turn to the side and see if her suspicion was right. And so she did, but she also wasn't prepared for the sight now greeting her. Minji had an arm on the table, her hand supporting her chin and her whole body turned to Yoohyeon's side, eyes hooded and lips slightly parted.

"You look really cute today." Minji said, gaze fixated on Yoohyeon's eyes and not looking anywhere else.

"I-I, thank y-you..." She stuttered, her heart picking up the pace and losing itself on the compliment, along with the way the other girl seemed to give her complete and undivided attention. Minji suddenly sighed, eyes closing for a moment and the ends of her lips briefly raising in a tsk expression, showing clear distaste in whatever she was thinking.

"I'm sorry, Yoohyeon." Her voice changed, Yoohyeon recognizing it from the incident where Minji's whole behaviour took a big turn. She was about to ask her why she was apologizing, only to be interrupted by her continuation. "You were struggling in class and I wanted to approach and help but I'm nothing more than a coward." _What?_

"What?"

Minji leaned back on her chair, neck stretching and head draped over it, eyes choosing to focus on the ceiling above them, feet fidgeting under the table. Yoohyeon gulped at the sight of the older's veiny neck, not able to suppress the feeling at the bottom of her stomach. _This is not the right time to think about that, mind._ She shook her head to clear her thoughts, noticing how the glasses Minji was wearing were about to fall off her face. "Wait, Minji, your glasses." 

She leaned close to the other girl in an attempt to take the accessory into her hands, in order to avoid it falling on the ground, but a hand reached down and grabbed her wrist, stopping her midway "Please, don't get too close." Yoohyeon's entire body froze, mouth slightly opened, eyes blinking rapidly. Minji's voice sounded watery and kept wavering, it felt as if the words were left hanging in the air, ready to be pulled down. "You know what they say about the eyes, that they are the doors to one's soul." The girl mumbled to the ceiling, hand tightening its hold on Yoohyeon's wrist. "If you get too close, I'm afraid you'll see something you're not supposed to."

Something stopped right then, disconnected thoughts started flying in their headspaces, ready to be voiced out and heard. One of Yoohyeon's lingering doubts kept screaming at her.

_How much do eyes show of the soul?_

  
  


  


  


  
  


  
  


  


  



End file.
